the break up
by book-worm-0135
Summary: lily has to make some hard decisions concerning her and james relationship


The break up

She strode purposefully down the hallway; her heart was beating painfully loud in her chest. She could still see his crushed face clearly in her mind as if he stood in front of her now and then to see his mask of indifference settle across his face had crushed her heart even more. She stopped as she heard footsteps and turned to see Sirius striding towards her angrily. She swallowed nervously; she probably should have expected this.

"What the hell Evans" he said as he reached "why the fuck did you break up with him" he glared down at her as she cowered slightly under his hateful gaze.

"That's between me and James, Sirius" she replied as she straightened to her full height and glared back at him. It was easier this way, painful but so much more easier. James and his friends would forget her and go on with their lives they wouldn't have to fight and there wouldn't be the possibility of them dying. She turned to leave but had only taken two steps when she felt his hand grip her arm painfully and swing her around to face him. He was so close now invading her personal space and making her feel uncomfortable.

"don't fucking give me that bullshit Evans" he sneered harshly at her "why did you break up with him and don't lie or I swear to god im going to hit something" she jerked back from him and took a couple of steps away from him.

"It's for his own good Sirius just leave it alone" she said, it was audible even to her ears the slight plea in her voice but Sirius was having none of it.

"for his own god" Sirius snorted loudly, his grey eyes blazing down at her "if you think it's for his own good then you don't know him very well" he paused, waiting for her to say something but when she didn't he continued bitterly "so out comes bitch Evans again, I thought we were past this when I got to know you a bit better but apparently not, your still a stuck up little know it all bitch"

They stood there silently after his little speech. Sirius was inches from her again and he was breathing heavily. She tried not to let it show on her face how much that hurt, how much his opinion of her mattered to her. She turned sharply on her heel and strode down the hall again leaving Sirius standing there frustrated and angry.

"so what" he shouted after her "your that heartless that you've got nothing to say to me" that hit a nerve with her and suddenly the hurt that filled her turned to rage and she swung back around stalking towards him.

"you want a reason, you want me to tell you why I broke up with James" she shouted at him "I did it so that he won't get himself killed, don't you get it Sirius im muggle born and James is from one of the wealthiest well known and pureblood families. Im not about to endanger him by continuing our relationship, he means the world to mean and that is why I have to stop it. I have no doubt that you, James, remus or even peter would give your lives to protect me and I won't let you, I won't let you get your self's killed for me" she stopped breathing heavily then continued in a small voice "I won't let you die for me" Sirius stood there stunned, then his eyes narrowed and he glared at her again.

"that isn't even a good excuse" he replied but there was slight bit of understanding in his eyes now "what we do with our lives is our choice, if we want to die to save you then we will and there is nothing you can do to stop that lily"

"Tell me Sirius that if you knew James or Remus or peter were going to die trying to save you, you wouldn't try to prevent it?" she asked looking at him desperately

"That's different" he said not meeting her eyes

"It's exactly the same and you know it" she said harshly "I love James and I will do anything I have to, to keep him alive and if that means leaving then god damit I will"

Sirius stood there quietly regarding her through his sharp eyes. He understood why she did it but that didn't mean he liked it any better. James was absolutely crushed he hadn't been eating, drinking or even flying and as he regarded lily now he could see neither had she. She was thin, unhealthily thin, her skin was pale and pasty and she had dark circles under her eyes. She turned away from him and walked down the hall quietly but what Sirius couldn't see were the tears streaming down her face and how much it hurt her to cut herself from James and his friends they had been like family to her but if it meant they got to live then she would do it. Sirius stood there for a few minute alone before swinging around and walking down the opposite direction of the hall.

What both of them failed to notice was the messy haired, bespectacled boy standing at the end of the hall with his invisibility cloak draped over him, having heard the whole conversation between the two.


End file.
